You may have heard of a doula who supports moms during birth, but what about a postpartum doula? Many women struggle in the first few days and weeks after becoming a mother. It can be comforting to a mother to have someone whose primary job is to care for her, and to make it possible for her to rest often and feed her baby frequently – someone who can reassure her that a mother’s main job is nurturing the baby and recovering. Postpartum doulas can also help care for the home and prepare meals, which is a blessing because it can be challenging for new moms to balance all the new emotions and responsibilities of motherhood.
When a woman has a baby, she transforms into a slightly different version of herself. Whether it’s first becoming a mother or becoming a mother to a new unique child. She grows, morphs a little, and expands her experience. Much like a butterfly, she spreads her new delicate wings and attempts to fly for the first time. It’s a scary thing to do. It’s a vulnerable time for mothers and there is a scared beauty to this fragile stage.
After a baby is born, people flock to cover the baby with love and affection. They bring gifts and goodies, prayers, and praise for this new life. Many times the mother is left in the shadow of the excitement. There are weight checks and appointments and measurements and times to make sure the baby is thriving. But what about mama? A six-week check-up?
A mother is often expected to recover from birth, nurture her baby, feed her baby, care for her other children, maintain her house, and function normally as soon as she has her baby.
I felt so torn after my first baby was born. I just wanted to sit and hold and feed him. I was starving and wanted to eat nutritious food to help my body recover and make milk for him. But the dishes were piling up, clothes drenched in old milk needed to be washed, and diapers had to be thrown away. There was always something to keep me from resting. Tension built up. I couldn’t let myself relax too much or I wouldn’t get up and get things done. I found myself starting to measure my success by how much I got done while caring for the baby. I cooked dinner! I folded a load of laundry! But why didn’t I feel accomplished when I fed my baby or took a nap?
Our culture tells women they are supposed to bounce back. But what does that even mean? Mama, you aren’t supposed to bounce back. You aren’t supposed to be the same. You are growing and developing into a wonderful new version of yourself. You shouldn’t want to go back. This new version is what your baby needs, what you are meant to be. More aware, more instinctual, more observant, more complex, more compassionate. More motherly.
So you ask, what is a postpartum doula?
A postpartum doula is a nurturer to the mother. She comes to help so the mother can rest and hold her baby. The doula brings nutritious meals that mama doesn’t have to cook. The doula can spoon-feed Mama if her hands are busy feeding Baby.
The doula is the gentle hand who helps mama to the bathroom and change her pad. The doula prepares a bath. She prepares the teas, the snacks, the bed, the meals, the diffuser, the home. She can do the laundry and dishes. She cares for the home and protects the sacred time. She preserves the precious moments with Mama and Daddy and Baby. She slows it all down. She brings calm and quiet and peace. She comforts and she nurtures. She mothers the mother.
Nurturing Home 