When so many voices tell moms they need to just take a break or get away for self-care, what happens when it doesn’t help?
The weight of motherhood hits suddenly during pregnancy for some and for others soon after baby is born. The responsibility and deep love moms feel can cause stress and whirlwinds of worry that overwhelm their minds.
As a mother to three littles, I remember those first few days after each baby. Trying to navigate this new normal and finding my way to cope through this next chapter with the beautiful chaos postpartum often brings. We all have to mentally decide how we will come to terms with this weight.
With the soreness, the healing body, the exhaustion, hunger, brain fog, irritability, discomfort, lack of free time, distractibility.
Will we react to it all with frustration and drudgery, yearning for a break and rest?
It’s what our culture tells us moms really need. We need a break, me-time, help with the kids, a nanny, a pedicure, massage or to get back to work so she can feel “herself again.” But no matter how many showers or naps you take or outings you go on, you still feel drained and stressed and overwhelmed. Why is that?
Is there enough coffee, wine or spa days that would actually melt all the stress away?
Sometimes it’s not the spas, careers or even a full night’s sleep that we go-to to try to numb our anxieties. Sometimes social media tells us we need mental and emotional escape from the weight of it all.
When most of the time moms need the wisdom and tools to thrive where they are. They need strength and patience to obey in the little moments. To change the diapers, cook the meals, do the dishes, to nurture her home. She doesn’t need people reminding her how hard this phase is or that it’s normal to not like being with your kids. She doesn’t need people telling her she shouldn’t lose herself in motherhood. To work as if she isn’t mom and mother as if she doesn’t work 40hrs a week.
Maybe the answer is prioritizing your time. Maybe it’s looking beyond what the culture values and determining what you value. What does God value? Sometimes the answer is to stop trying to relax enough or getting enough self-care. Sometimes it’s realizing our own strength is never enough. We are supposed to be relying continuously on our Father. We are supposed to be following His calling. Not what the culture tells us success looks like. Sometimes successful motherhood seems invisible. No one sees, but baby. No one praises you, but your husband. Maybe it’s not about that. Maybe it’s trusting our Heavenly Father and where He has placed us. It’s seeing the sacredness of the mundane. Maybe it’s reprioritizing and rethinking your career. Maybe it’s just a mindset change. Maybe it’s finding the answer is pouring yourself into what matters most and letting go of the things that don’t.
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